Don’t just let them

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock you’ve probably heard of Mel Robbin’s book “Let them”. I haven’t read it.  However, it did make me reflect on the longing of the human mind to be able to put things into boxes.  So the new way of doing life is to “let them” as opposed to resistance, that’s solid guidance – but I’d like to suggest a caveat.

One of my greatest guiding mantras is “Don’t accept unacceptable behaviour.” In other words … don’t let them.

I don’t have to accept someone speaking to me patronisingly, condescendingly or in a way that creates ‘division’

When others speak to me like that it often activates a feeling in me that can echo my pains from childhood. Not good enough, insecurity and perhaps even fear can reverberate throughout my body. I do my work so I can remain neutral and use what’s happening to see where in me needs to be loved and fortified. I then choose not to put myself in a position to be hurt anymore. I may need to speak up using my unreactive, clear and intentional (authentic) voice. I may need to leave the situation. I may need to stop doing something (that has me feeling powerless by this person) or start doing something (that frees me from the dynamic with this person. That is, yes, I let them be, but I don’t accept that unacceptable behaviour. I use it to take conscious, empowering action to prevent the situation recurring.

 
If my friends don’t treat me with honour, respecting me and acting kindly

Sure, I cant change them, but I don’t have to let those friends be part of my life. Letting them is a way of not handing over your power, but what will you do about preventing that in the future? For me, it became clear, I was playing a role. I allowed that person into my life in the first place – I started taking responsibility for my own emotional wellbeing by acknowledging to myself, that friendship was not healthy and was not serving either of us. I investigated what it was in me that ‘let them’ into my life.

If a co-worker takes credit for something I’ve done

Deep unconsciously held feelings can be activated in the workplace – which can make work a place of anxiety and dread. I see such situations as an opportunity to take back my inner power - to feel the feelings that are activated by these types of betrayals. Once I can take a neutral stance (without emotional charge) I decide what, if anything, I am to do about the situation. I may need to speak up more at work, value myself and stand up for myself more - using my authentic (not my ‘wounded’) voice. I may need to have a conversation with the co-worker in a way that creates understanding and growth. I definitely need to investigate why this is happening to me on an energetic level. If I just ‘let them’, I may feel empowered in the moment however, I am not building an ongoing sense of fullness inside. I miss the opportunity to create unity consciousness because I haven’t extracted the wisdom from the event nor prevented the situation recurring again.
 

If my family doesn’t support me or the things I do

Of course, there is no point wasting any time trying to change the person, however from a felt state of fullness, allowing it to pass by, may not be the solution. Perhaps again, this is an opportunity to speak your truth. Note, if you already speak up and find the other parties don’t hear you, consider this. When you speak from your authentic voice – the voice of power and authority within, it cannot be ignored. However many of us have been trained to speak while still holding a feeling reaction inside – we are speaking from our ‘wound’ and as such are energetically sending a message of blame or criticism and judgement. People respond to what they FEEL not what they hear.

If you are full of feelings that haven’t been resolved, chances are you will be faced with reaction, ignored or dismissed.

So ‘let them’ if you like. That’s a great first step but if you truly want to take back your power, extracting the wisdom, preventing a replay of the situation and rewiring your relational consciousness is needed for you to feel deeply loved and connected. That’s what I’d wholeheartedly recommend!

Sending love,

Lisa x

If you’d like to know how to communicate effectively and be heard, I’d love to invite you to join me on 29 October, 2025 at 7pm AEDT for a free live webinar where I will be guiding women to hone their skill at emotional mastery and the art of communicating using the authentic  power of their own authority. Register here